Dollars and Questions

A dollar really isn't that big of a deal. Sometimes it can seem like it, though. We all seem to have struggles at some point. College. Kids. Furloughs. Kids. Salary reductions. Kids. Layoffs. Unexpected expenses.

I'll never forget one experience I had that was based on a few dollars I had with me. My wife and I had moved from Northern California to the central part of the state. We drove home to Chico fairly regularly. The trip took around four and a half hours. There was a great place to stop about half way through the journey, complete with several gas stations and all of the regular fast food places. During one particular journey, we stopped to fuel up and grab some food at the McDonald's there. That's where I met Billy.

Billy was a scruffy looking guy who approached me in the parking lot. He didn't look too crazy or dirty or scary. He was just a guy who looked tired and down. He asked me if I had any money I could spare. The pivotal moment that so many of us dread. And of course, the thoughts began right away. What are you going to buy? Are you going to go get some beer at that gas station? Do you really need my money? Why don't you go get a job?

We've all been there. Most of us have declined, at some point or another, assisting someone who has asked for help in this manner. It's easy to do. The reasons vary. What if the person waits for me to reach in my pocket and then jumps me while I'm distracted? What if the person is going to just buy some beer with my money? What if the person really has an apartment and is just doing this as an easy way to get money? I've often had these kinds of thoughts over the years. Sometimes I've justified staying my hand. Other times I've liberally shared with the person who asked for money, deciding that it would be on his head--not mine--if he chose to use my money for something like a can of beer or some cigarettes. Occasionally, I've been able to help without judging--just giving money away without thinking about anything more than helping the person. But that's not been the norm for me. Maybe it has been for you, for which you ought to be congratulated. But I need to work on that. I'll admit it. I'm not sure why that's hard. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that that's one way I cope with feeling awkward about a situation.

So there I was, faced with some dude I did not know at all, and he was asking me for money. A thought came to me: I'm going to make him do something for my three dollars. I looked him in the eye and said, "I have three dollars. But you have to answer three questions for me first." He was a bit surprised, I'm sure, by what had to be an odd response to his request. He agreed to my conditions.

My first question was, "What is your name?" "Billy," he said. I do not recall his last name.

My second question: "Where did you grow up?" He told me he grew up in a town near Stockton, California, very close to where we were standing at the time.

Third question: "When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?" I remember that he seemed to light up a bit with this one. "A professional pitcher," he said. He then told me about a game he pitched in high school, during which he did quite well against the opposing team.

I gave him his three dollars.

What is it about things like that that leave lasting impressions? I'd never had an experience like that prior to that day. I've never had one since (which, I think, is a shame). I'm fairly certain that Billy had rarely, if ever, had someone come up with such a scheme when it came to offering him some help. But there we were. Two former high school baseball players, standing in front of a McDonald's. He'd pitched well against a team in high school. I knew what that was like. He had a name. He'd grown up in a smaller, agricultural community. Same for me.

I think most folks like it when someone takes an interest in them. Who doesn't want to talk about his or her dreams? Who doesn't want to talk about him- or herself? Not in an arrogant manner, but simply by way of sharing experiences and thoughts and feelings. I'm willing to bet that Billy got at least a little kick out of my silliness that day. I got a huge kick out of it. How would I have known I was standing next to someone who pitched a great game in high school? How would I have known that this guy who asked for money had once dreamed of becoming a big-league pitcher?

So who else is out there? What do we know about the people around us? They have names and dreams and stories. I imagine that they all, including you and me, have at least one interesting story to tell. Even in the situations where it might seem unlikely to find significance in another person, as in my experience with Billy, there is something valuable to uncover.

I gave Billy three bucks. Three lousy bucks. And I met someone whom I'm sure I'll never see again. But he is someone I will never forget.

My thanks to Billy.